Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Ed Time

The United States operates in four time zones....Pacific, Mountain, Central and Eastern. Most of you are familiar with these.

I live in the Ed Zone.

For those of you not familiar with this time zone, it encompasses a very small area that covers an extremely large area. The Ed Time Zone is contained solely within the frame of this truck. Although it's only within the steel casing of the truck cab, it affects and interacts with nearly every other time zone we happen to be in.

As a rule of thumb, the Ed Time Zone supercedes any other time zone that is in effect. When one is operating on Ed Time, anything can happen. Most likely though, it will happen later than you expect.

When visiting friends or family, I tell them, in "Ed Time", when I expect to be there. For instance, if I tell my friend Vicki to expect me at 2pm, once I do the calculation and run the route through the Ed-o-meter, I can quickly calculate that, on Ed Time, we will be there at approximately 10 pm - possibly even the next day.

If Ed is to wake up at 4am, again doing a quick calculation, I know that I will see his bright blue eyes peek over towards me at 6am. If he wants to nap and tells me, "I only need a 30 minute nap" I know that, on Ed Time, that means he'll be sleeping about 3-4 hours.

Since my internal clock runs hours, even days ahead of Ed Time, I am often left frustrated and confused by the calculations I have to make to actually GET somewhere. I am a stickler for being early, which is impossible on Ed Time.

Some days are better than others. When I take charge of the clock, we usually run a tighter ship. But since the captain of the vessel is on Ed Time, I am often at his mercy.

For instance, I am visiting my best friend today. I was supposed to be there yesterday, but since I'm on Ed Time, I will be arriving approximately 12 hours later than my original stated arrival time. She is very quick to catch on though - whenever I tell her when I expect to be somewhere, she asks "Is that on Ed Time?".

I'm guess I'm lucky to have a boyfriend who has his very own time zone. If he weren't so handsome and easygoing, I probably wouldn't let him get away with it.

Well, I guess I should wrap this up. My boyfriend just said we should be out of here in about 10 minutes.

In Ed Time, that means I have at least another 40 minutes. I think I'll catch a quick nap.

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