Life Is A Salt Shaker

I can talk about anything and I usually comment on everything. Anyone who knows me will attest to this.

For instance, my friend Vicki and I can talk about toothpaste or milk for obscene amounts of time. Do you like gel or paste? What about the one with the stripes in it? I don’t like Crest, but I like the baking soda one. I buy the kids the bubble gum flavor. OR Do you like 1% or 2% milk? Well, I like 1% in my cereal, but 2% in my coffee. I give the kids whole milk, but I can only drink whole milk if there is chocolate in it. This can literally go on for hours. And has.

But, because I’m with Eddie most of the time and not Vicki, he’s the one who gets to hear me talk about all this stuff. The thing about that is, nothing excites him all that much. Nothing at all. Here are some examples:

I took Ed to visit the house I grew up in as a child. I was excited to show him, pointing out all the places my brother and I played, where we built our tree house, where we carved our names in the trees and where I wiped out ice skating and cut my lip. He said, “Oh nice.” When I said to him, “Oh nice? That’s all you have to say??” He said, “Well, it’s just a house.”

Another time, I was pointing out something that we had passed by in our travels that I thought was really cool. Again, his response was, “Yeah, that’s nice, I guess.”

Today, I was talking to him about my nephews and how Jake, who is 2, is learning how to speak more clearly. I understood everything he said on the phone today and I am amazed at how different he sounds each time I talk to him. He said my name clearly and even said “Eddieeee driving. Truck. Truck!”. I was telling Ed about how this warms my heart. His response? “Well, all kids start talking better as they get older. It happens to everyone. People grow up.”

All of this culminated with a conversation Ed and I had over dinner one night, where I asked him why nothing excites him and why everything is so uninteresting to him. He proceeded to pick up the salt shaker, plunk it in the middle of the table and say, “See that? It’s a salt shaker. It’s always going to be a salt shaker, no matter how many times I look at it.”

So, if you’ve already seen it, done it, been there, photographed it or thought it.....it’s a salt shaker.